Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My dick has a subreddit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
