I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize