Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
