Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
