Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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