This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
