do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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