why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
