Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize