Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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