Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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