I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize