And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
They are going to name an STD after you.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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