idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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