WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize