so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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