Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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