He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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