I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's just like the Real World with babies
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
