from now on my penis is your penis
and you said cock pushups were impossible
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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