I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
