There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
