I'm going to jail i love you
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
