The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
