God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize