I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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