Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize