I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
