I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
