Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
