I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
