I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
