VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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