I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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