he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
