just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
