you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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