I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize