What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
