honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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