No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think a kid would responsible me up
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
