Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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