So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
