Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
