i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
this must be what syphilis tastes like
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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