You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How external is "for external use only"?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
