What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize