at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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