tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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