K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
