Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
