look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
