I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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