And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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