dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
