also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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