PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
