haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
