Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
