he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
