3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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