Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
