I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
