i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
