your thong is hanging out like whoa
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
